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Ruth asks…

What is his actions speaking in your opinion? Long Read.?

There is a manager/coworker guy whose name is Jeffrey that works for the same company as I whose behavior is starting to be very suspect. Jeffrey is a field manager and who basically what he does is to check on different sites and officers out in the field, and makes sure that the site is running smoothly.Well,First off, when we first met, I was working as a security officer at an apartment building, and while I was doing my foot patrol, I get a radio call to come downstairs to the lobby by my co worker Ignacio, I go downstairs and I see Jeffrey,and he jokingly tells me that he was hurt and jealous that I had sent a text message to his friend(Jayson) (whose also a field manager)which I have been told are long time childhood friends, sent a text message to Jayson for overtime. And so Jeffrey so he gives me his business card to call him. And he was very giggly, happy, smiling, grinning, and as he left he smiled and cheesed”I heard so many good things about you” I’ll see you soon”
We met, again he was there doing a post check,I happen to walk into the lobby and jeffrey was there talking to my co worker and when i saw him he just stared in my eyes , and he started talking to my co worker and I noticed that he kept glancing at me.He came back to my site an hour later to pick up some paperwork and his body language was strong, he was squinting his eyes, and leaned into me, and as I was handing him the paperwork, he reaches for it, at the same time I am and touches my arm, and i thought to myself,there is somethng there.

So ever since then,weird things have been happening. I’ll hear from other co workers thatJeffrey will ask (my site field manager William) like what is going on at my site,or he ll ask my co worker George How am I doing, and has even called up to my job on three different occasions asking for me. Plus, the other weird thing is that I have had four different officers all tell me that they are working under Jeffreys supervision or at one of his sites, when there are plenty of people out of work and there are three differnt field managers, but yet hes the only one calling anyone that used to work with me.

Plus,I know that he goes to my myspace/facebook page and copies me.And I did call him, and we talked for a long time, and he told me that he couldnt believe I liked him, he didnt want to fantasize about that, ahd that he would want to do that to himself.And he told me to call him anytime.But when I tried to meet up with him, he flip the script and told me that he had to be realy careful with me because he is my manager, and he has a sexual harrassment case filed against him, so he didnt know if I was recording him its crazy, two weeks later his friend jason calls me to see how me and my coworker was doing,he was very suspect,because his friend just kept saying, Oh i’M just calling to say hello” amd that that was the last time I talked to him, and that Was in febuary

admin answers:

I would say, he has really violated his supervisory authority and I think you have SOME right to file a sexual harrassment claim or lawsuit – BUT, you made the mistake of calling him and talking to him for a long time…that was a dumb thing to do, unless you did it because you felt if you did not, he would in some way harrass you or even get you fired.

This is the complexity of work related relationships, especially when the man or woman is in a position of direct supervisory authority. He has every right to be scared you will report him for his behavior and he knows what he has done is very inappropriate and probably not only violates written company policy, but a ton of legal decisions regarding sexual harrassment.

You can do several things including:

1 – Tell him that you have made record of everything that has lead up to this moment and from this moment forward, you are formally asking him to cease and desist any further persuit of you and if he does not, you will go above his head to his manager and hand over the entire story to them and file a complaint. This is one thing you can do to put an end to it.

2 – If he harrasses you after you tell him this, he is violating further laws, including misdemeanor harrassment which is a chargeable offense. If he coerces or intimidates you in any manner, be prepared to file a complaint, document everything he says or does, do not react personally and do not allow him to control you or your actions or decisions.

3 – You can decide to carry on with the relationship, but be forewarned! If you are violating company rules, you probably will be FIRED! In this case, you surrender your rights to sexual harrassment because you willingly and intentionally allowed involvement. He will have you in a compromised position and you won’t be able to do anything except maybe quit to get away from him if you are not discovered and fired first.

He has certainly violated every principle of supervisor-worker non-sexual conduct. And he knows it. He could be fired too, and if he is fired, its not due to your fault unless you give in and allow him to have sex withyou or to do other things you know you shouldn’t do, and then it is jsut as much your fault as his as far as I am concerned.

Sandra asks…

In need of opinion about a man?Long Read?

There is a manager/coworker guy whose name is Jeffrey that works for the same company as I whose behavior is starting to be very suspect. Jeffrey is a field manager and who basically what he does is to check on different sites and officers out in the field, and makes sure that the site is running smoothly.Well,First off, when we first met, I was working as a security officer at an apartment building, and while I was doing my foot patrol, I get a radio call to come downstairs to the lobby by my co worker Ignacio, I go downstairs and I see Jeffrey,and he jokingly tells me that he was hurt and jealous that I had sent a text message to his friend(Jayson) (whose also a field manager)which I have been told are long time childhood friends, sent a text message to Jayson for overtime. And so Jeffrey so he gives me his business card to call him. And he was very giggly, happy, smiling, grinning, and as he left he smiled and cheesed”I heard so many good things about you” I’ll see you soon”
We met, again he was there doing a post check,I happen to walk into the lobby and jeffrey was there talking to my co worker and when i saw him he just stared in my eyes , and he started talking to my co worker and I noticed that he kept glancing at me.He came back to my site an hour later to pick up some paperwork and his body language was strong, he was squinting his eyes, and leaned into me, and as I was handing him the paperwork, he reaches for it, at the same time I am and touches my arm, and i thought to myself,there is somethng there.

So ever since then,weird things have been happening. I’ll hear from other co workers thatJeffrey will ask (my site field manager William) like what is going on at my site,or he ll ask my co worker George How am I doing, and has even called up to my job on three different occasions asking for me. Plus, the other weird thing is that I have had four different officers all tell me that they are working under Jeffreys supervision or at one of his sites, when there are plenty of people out of work and there are three differnt field managers, but yet hes the only one calling anyone that used to work with me.

Plus,I know that he goes to my myspace/facebook page and copies me.And I did call him, and we talked for a long time, and he told me that he couldnt believe I liked him, he didnt want to fantasize about that, ahd that he would want to do that to himself.And he told me to call him anytime.But when I tried to meet up with him, he flip the script and told me that he had to be realy careful with me because he is my manager, and he has a sexual harrassment case filed against him, so he didnt know if I was recording him its crazy, two weeks later his friend jason calls me to see how me and my coworker was doing,he was very suspect,because his friend just kept saying, Oh i’M just calling to say hello” amd that that was the last time I talked to him, and that was in febuary

admin answers:

You should ask this in singles&dating, youll get way more replies.

Mark asks…

Long Read, Can someone tell me the deal?

There is a manager/coworker guy whose name is Jeffrey that works for the same company as I whose behavior is starting to be very suspect. Jeffrey is a field manager and who basically what he does is to check on differnt sites and officers out in the field, and makes sure that the site is running smoothly.Well,First off, when we first met, I was working as a security officer at an apartment building, and while I was doing my foot patrol, I get a radio call to come downstairs to the lobby by my co worker Ignacio, I go downstairs and I see Jeffrey,and he jokingly tells me that he was hurt and jealous that I had sent a text message to his friend(Jayson) (whose also a field manager)which I have been told are long time childhood friends, but I sent a text message to Jayson for overtime, and so Jeffrey so he gives me his business card to call him.

And I noticed that he was very giggly, happy, smiling, grinning, and as he left he smiled and cheesed”I heard so many good things about you” I’ll see you soon” and I asked my Ignacio, “Is always that happy” He laughed and said “No, he didnt start doing that until you came up here” You guys were both smiling too much” The second time we met, Jeffrey comes by the site again to do a post check,my coworker Ignacio tells me that Jeffrey was outside of the building and was nervous and stuff,, and said Jeffrey didnt want to come inside because I was there.
The third time we again doing a post check,I happen to walk into the lobby and jeffrey was there talking to my co worker and when i see him he says “Oh well since you re here let me have you sign this” and I looked at the paper and he has everything filled out everything on the post check list for me, and when i finished and handed it too him he just stared in my eyes , and he started talking to my co worker and I noticed that he kept glancing at me,after he left my coworker had a stank attitude, he barely said two worrds too me after that, it struck me so much that i asked him”Are you okay” and he told me “Dont let these men get all in your head”Anyhow, later on that night his best friend jayson( a field manager) comes by our site, to “see how me and my coworker were doing} an hour lafter he leaves, Jeffrey comes back to the site to pick up some paperwork and his body language was strong, he was squinting his eyes, and leaned into me, and as I was handing him the paperwork, he reaches for it, at the same time I am and touches my arm, and i thought to myself,there is somethng there.

The next day I get a call from the corporate office letting me know they want to transfer me to another site as a supervisor, and that I would be working with one other person, George.George tells me(Jeffrey best friend Jayson) left him a voicemail to call Jeffrey, George calls Jeffrey back, and Jeffrey tells George “Oh I think that was some mistake” But Oh by the way “How are you and Stephanie doing”.. and he tells him were fine, and he likes his new job, etc.A few days go by, George tells me that some guy called to our site asking “Who is your partner today” Where is Stephanie” and when George asked who it was they hung up, so a few months go by,someone kept calling and hanging up at our site and basically asking the same thing”Where is stephanie, what time does she get off, and when George asked who was it that was calling the caller would hang up, the caller is Jeffrey.

Then out the blue, a week later,My co worker George gets a call from Jeffrey to ask him if he could cover a shift for him, George agrees, but 10 minutes later, Jeffrey calls him back and tells him}Oh thats okay, its already been filled” and then asks George again”So how is you and Stephanie”

A few weeks go by and his best friend Jayson call my site asking to speak to George”Because he just wanted to see how he was doing”.which was weird because he doesnt even know this guy that well.On top of all this, whats even weirder is that Ive had a few workers removed from my site, and every last one of the workers all have kept in touch with me and they ve all told me they are all working under Jeffrey, inclusing George, when there are three field managers, they each have over 50 sites, and there are plenty of people out of work.

Then there was another time, were I went into the corporate office, I get a call from George letting me know that Jeffrey called him but didnt leave a message about an hour after I left the office.Plus I have another worker Lucy who got called at night by Jeffrey best friend)Jayson to work for one of Jeffrey sites the next day, after she worked with me..so to make a long story short, are these coincidences

admin answers:

I DONT THINK THESE ARE COINCIDENCES AND TO ME IT SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF DRAMA AND DID HE SEND GEORGE AWAY TOOO? THIS IS TOO MUCH GOING ON ALL I CAN SAY IS DONT DATE HIM KEEP TO YOURSELF AND HOPEFULLY YOU WILL BE OK…..
CAUSE AT THE RATE HE IS GOING IF YOU 2 DATE OR SOMETHING AND HE DONT GET HIS WAY THEN YOU ARE PROLLY NEXT TO GO IF YOU WORK FOR OR UNDER HIM
GIRL JUST BE CAREFUL ARE YOU ARMED SECURITY LOL IF NOT GO AND GETCHA LICENSE

Steven asks…

Why would a guy do thes type of things. In need of perspective?

There is a manager/coworker guy whose name is Jeffrey that works for the same company as I whose behavior is starting to be very suspect. Jeffrey is a field manager and who basically what he does is to check on different sites and officers out in the field, and makes sure that the site is running smoothly.Well,First off, when we first met, I was working as a security officer at an apartment building, and while I was doing my foot patrol, I get a radio call to come downstairs to the lobby by my co worker Ignacio, I go downstairs and I see Jeffrey,and he jokingly tells me that he was hurt and jealous that I had sent a text message to his friend(Jayson) (whose also a field manager)which I have been told are long time childhood friends, sent a text message to Jayson for overtime. And so Jeffrey so he gives me his business card to call him. And he was very giggly, happy, smiling, grinning, and as he left he smiled and cheesed”I heard so many good things about you” I’ll see you soon”
We met, again he was there doing a post check,I happen to walk into the lobby and jeffrey was there talking to my co worker and when i saw him he just stared in my eyes , and he started talking to my co worker and I noticed that he kept glancing at me.He came back to my site an hour later to pick up some paperwork and his body language was strong, he was squinting his eyes, and leaned into me, and as I was handing him the paperwork, he reaches for it, at the same time I am and touches my arm, and i thought to myself,there is somethng there.

So ever since then,weird things have been happening. I’ll hear from other co workers thatJeffrey will ask (my site field manager William) like what is going on at my site,or he ll ask my co worker George How am I doing, and has even called up to my job on three different occasions asking for me. Plus, the other weird thing is that I have had four different officers all tell me that they are working under Jeffreys supervision or at one of his sites, when there are plenty of people out of work and there are three differnt field managers, but yet hes the only one calling anyone that used to work with me.

Plus,I know that he goes to my myspace/facebook page and copies me.And I did call him, and we talked for a long time, and he told me that he couldnt believe I liked him, he didnt want to fantasize about that, ahd that he would want to do that to himself.And he told me to call him anytime.But when I tried to meet up with him, he flip the script and told me that he had to be realy careful with me because he is my manager, and he has a sexual harrassment case filed against him, so he didnt know if I was recording him its crazy, two weeks later his friend jason calls me to see how me and my coworker was doing,he was very suspect,because his friend just kept saying, Oh i’M just calling to say hello” amd that that was the last time I talked to him, and thatw as in febuary

admin answers:

For some the chase is more important than capturing the game.

James asks…

In need of personal life advice about this guy at work.Long Read?

There is a manager/coworker guy whose name is Jeffrey that works for the same company as I whose behavior is starting to be very suspect. Jeffrey is a field manager and who basically what he does is to check on differnt sites and officers out in the field, and makes sure that the site is running smoothly.Well,First off, when we first met, I was working as a security officer at an apartment building, and while I was doing my foot patrol, I get a radio call to come downstairs to the lobby by my co worker Ignacio, I go downstairs and I see Jeffrey,and he jokingly tells me that he was hurt and jealous that I had sent a text message to his friend(Jayson) (whose also a field manager)which I have been told are long time childhood friends, but I sent a text message to Jayson for overtime, and so Jeffrey so he gives me his business card to call him. And he was very giggly, happy, smiling, grinning, and as he left he smiled and cheesed”I heard so many good things about you” I’ll see you soon” and I asked my Ignacio, “Is always that happy” He laughed and said “No, he didnt start doing that until you came up here” You guys were both smiling too much” The second time we met, Jeffrey comes by the site again to do a post check,my coworker Ignacio tells me that Jeffrey was outside of the building and was nervous and stuff,, and said Jeffrey didnt want to come inside because I was there.
The third time we again doing a post check,I happen to walk into the lobby and jeffrey was there talking to my co worker and when i see him he says “Oh well since you re here let me have you sign this” and I looked at the paper and he has everything filled out everything on the post check list for me, and when i finished and handed it too him he just stared in my eyes , and he started talking to my co worker and I noticed that he kept glancing at me,after he left my coworker had a stank attitude, he barely said two worrds too me after that, it struck me so much that i asked him”Are you okay” and he told me “Dont let these men get all in your head”Anyhow, later on that night his best friend jayson( a field manager) comes by our site, to “see how me and my coworker were doing} an hour lafter he leaves, Jeffrey comes back to the site to pick up some paperwork and his body language was strong, he was squinting his eyes, and leaned into me, and as I was handing him the paperwork, he reaches for it, at the same time I am and touches my arm, and i thought to myself,there is somethng there.

The next day I get a call from the corporate office letting me know they want to transfer me to another site as a supervisor, and that I would be working with one other person, George.George tells me(Jeffrey best friend Jayson) left him a voicemail to call Jeffrey, George calls Jeffrey back, and Jeffrey tells George “Oh I think that was some mistake” But Oh by the way “How are you and Stephanie doing”.. and he tells him were fine, and he likes his new job, etc.A few days go by, George tells me that some guy called to our site asking “Who is your partner today” Where is Stephanie” and when George asked who it was they hung up, so a few months go by,someone kept calling and hanging up at our site and basically asking the same thing”Where is stephanie, what time does she get off, and when George asked who was it that was calling the caller would hang up, the caller is Jeffrey.

Then out the blue, a week later,My co worker George gets a call from Jeffrey to ask him if he could cover a shift for him, George agrees, but 10 minutes later, Jeffrey calls him back and tells him}Oh thats okay, its already been filled” and then asks George again”So how is you and Stephanie”

A few weeks go by and his best friend Jayson call my site asking to speak to George”Because he just wanted to see how he was doing”.which was weird because he doesnt even know this guy that well.On top of all this, whats even weirder is that Ive had a few workers removed from my site, and every last one of the workers all have kept in touch with me and they ve all told me they are all working under Jeffrey, inclusing George, when there are three field managers, they each have over 50 sites, and there are plenty of people out of work.

Then there was another time, were I went into the corporate office, I get a call from George letting me know that Jeffrey called him but didnt leave a message about an hour after I left the office.Plus I have another worker Lucy who got called at night by Jeffrey best friend)Jayson to work for one of Jeffrey sites the next day, after she worked with me..so to make a long story short, are these coincidences

admin answers:

Aww Man. I had to skip to the very bottom of the novel when you finally asked the question. I almost fell asleep. No it’s not a coincidence. What’s also not a coincidence is you writing this long novel.

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